Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
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7:59 pm - well looks like i'm back
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well going to go meet my little cadaver tomorrow,looking forward to getting to spend to day with her, oh god i found the most fucked up thing online 
i laughed so hard when i saw this!
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Thursday, November 4th, 2004
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3:36 pm - housewarming
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8590 newfalls road levittown PA 19054 P-7
newport village acrossed from the burgerking P building door 7 ask gimme a call if you have trouble getting there
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Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
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1:46 pm
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ok found out that i have something like 1.2 gigs allocated in my "commited memory" found that out by using norton system doctor now how to free that i up i have NO idea but i'm in deep trouble here because i need to use this computer for my projects >_< which are due next week and the memory has been leaking to the poitn where i have almost nothing i can really dump here left. if anyone knows how to fix this let me know because i need to pass this class
thanks for reading.
oh and on an up note i'll be having a housewarming or whatever sometime soon i'll update on it later
current mood:  worried
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12:05 pm
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Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
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10:07 pm
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my little cousin ashley just was killed...i just returned from the funeral she was 14 years old. probably the sweetest kid i ever met.
April 19 1990 - August 20 2004
current mood: mournful
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Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
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5:18 pm - when it rains it pours
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well...it's pretty much the end of the line for lady, those of you who know her know she's a very sweet dog. there's one last treatment she can get and if that doesn't work on her legs we'll have to put her down...
current mood:  depressed
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Thursday, July 15th, 2004
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10:26 pm - my birthday
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well for any of you that know where i live anyone that wants to come is invited, even if you don't know where i live just email me and ask... july 17th 1:30 trying to dig up old friends to ask to come but so far haven't had much luck heh.
so anyone is welcomed to come.
current mood:  dorky
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Friday, June 25th, 2004
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4:06 am - birthdays
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well cathead, i'd love to buy you something but between lack of funds and lack of emotional fortitude i don't think i can really do it. if you don't get me anything for my birthday it's ok i totally understand, i don't expect you to get me something when i don't have the stones to go out looking for something for you so it's cool if you don't.(hopefully i'll have my head better together by next year)
as for anyone else... if you DO for some strange reason want to get me something, this year money is what i need. i'm raising money for a major tattoo that i want. it's probably going to cost around between 150ish to 300ish and it'll cover much of my back. (and no CT it's not that hideous moon that you hate so much in my room lol) however it IS an addition to my soon-to-be menagerie of video game related tattoos :)(if anyone is familiar with the rood-inverse from vagrant story that's the one)
well, that's that. hope you're all sleeping better than am (strangly enough can't seem to sleep tonight or last night no idea why)
current mood:  sleepy
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Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
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6:19 pm
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Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
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1:03 am - why can't i get this out of my head?
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every night for a few days now, i've been thinking about CT and how much i miss her, and how i'd pretty much give my life itself just, for her to love me for one more day, to see her look at me like she used to, and talk to me with that much love, instead of cold and distant.
i'm really getting sick of being so depressed and missing her so much and i really just want to move on, and everytime i think i'm going to be ok, i turn the lights off and goto bed and i start crying again like a little bitch. why can't i just move the fuck on...?
current mood: drained
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Thursday, April 1st, 2004
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6:02 pm
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today would have been the 3 year anniversery of Christiana and I...
current mood: depressed
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Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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12:52 am
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you know...i thought i was ok, i reaaaaally did, however...today just recently i was organizing my pictures and i saw a picture of CT and I together and it must have clicked something. I'm not sure why i mean i haven't missed her severly for a while now. either way i have a ton of college tomorrow and i have no energy or soul right now...dunno how i'm gonna do this. i miss her so much right now.
*sigh* well i'm tired and i need to burn some shit for class, i feel like this week i've had my soul sucked out of my body. i've been stressed over school all week and becky left me because even though we had so very much in common it was scary...we lacked one thing that was needed...emotional chemistry. you know the saying so close and yet so far away? that fits it to a T..we could have been so happy if it weren't for that one small god damned detail. we had everything in common except she doesn't give enough affection and i give too much. *sigh* such is life...as i said...so close, yet so far away...
well my head is killing me and my whole face burns from tears so i'm gonna goto bed.
current mood: dead inside, and lonely
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Friday, March 5th, 2004
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8:12 pm - just bitching
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you know, i miss the days when i had CT to lean on but now i feel like a jerk for doing it, i still have her to lean on but not the same as it was, she's just a friend now and it's not her responiblity so i feel bad when i find myself going to her when i'm that upset, she was eating and she was willing to talk to me but i didn't feel i had the right to bitch to her. whenever i call becky and i'm so upset i'm in tears she's busy with something or i can't afford the call lol (which i totally understand i know i'm not the center of her life, nor should i be so early in the realtionship), i just miss when CT would refuse to hang up the phone until i was feeling better... but i know that's not her job anylonger, and i can't expect becky to be like that towards with me since we've just started going out.
just having a hard time getting used to a new relationship, and of all times to be trying to nurcher a new love when i'm having the most stress i've had in years so becky must think i'm a whiney bitch. Becky should NOT be expected to gush all over me as soon as i shed a tear, at least not yet anyway at the very least. the relationship just started and we haven't had enough time to bond that closly( though things are moving along quite well ^_^). i'm just so used to an intense relationship (since my last one was almost 3 years long) that i'm still having a hard transition from being fauned all over back to almost square one. becky is a great girl so i'm sure we'll be very happy together ^_^ (if i don't scare her off or drive her nuts heh)i'm just really really stressed right now so i kinda miss knowing the person who i'm in a realtionship with in and out 100% and getting the type of attention you only get after you're in a realtionship for years
(btw becky if you do read this i'm not asking you to change or anything goofy like that i'm just venting my feelings if anything i said in this upsets you let me know so i can talk it over with you. don't see how but just incase :).)
current mood: stressed, upset, drained
current music: cheezy NWN bar music
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12:51 am
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well i'm heavily and totally insulted. seems dale blocked me a while ago guess he doesn't want me as a friend since i'm not dating his sister anymore. now if i ditched her, or CT and i broke up in some hellish hateful thing i could see why. but CT and i are still very close friends so there's no reason for him todo that... christ...i really looked up to him and he pulls this shit. now i feel like the whole time him and i buddied around was just a bullshit act
current mood:  disappointed
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Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
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10:35 pm
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i give the fuck up.
i'm not going to school tomorrow i don't give a flying fuck if i fail my desktop publishing class so fucking what. i honestly at the this point don't care.
i'm so disgusted with life right now, my head hurts like hell, my eyes are burning. i've gotten hardly any feedback from becky in about 3 days. i have some fucking headache project due.
current mood: lonely
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Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
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7:06 pm
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well, been sitting here doing not much of anything for a while now. played some nwn for a few hours but i don't feel like playing by myself and since the server i play on now has so few people, doesn't really solve the whole being alone thing.
sooo i took a shower and i'm going to hop back on the game hopefully the server fills up a bit and there's someone to actually rp with >_<. i wish engliton didn't SUCK so much that i had to move back to wyrdwood in nwn.
on the bright side of today (thank god there is one lol)i heard my cousin dolly (she's about my mom's age or so) had all of her cancer removed so they THINK she'll be ok if nothing else she has a few more years now than they thought she did.
ok well i'm going to jump back on to NWN, before i fall asleep from lack of activity hehe
current mood: a little lonely a little bored
current music: that stupid heater in my room that sounds like a train
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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
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11:41 pm
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well i had a wonderful V-day spent almost the entire day at becky's house ^_^ we watched strangeland and played video games and she gave me a stuffed penguin! ^_^ his name is perky hehehe. well i'm VERY tired so i'm gonna head off to bed.
happy comerical candy day everyone!
current mood: blissed out and very tired
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Monday, January 19th, 2004
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7:06 pm
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gah, can't think >_<. had to find out a bunch of shit for my grant, which thankfully becky helped me get. i was gonna write in the nifty rpg forum that becky runs some more today, but my head is clouded with too much worry. i worry too damned much >_< and i really friggin wish i didn't cuz it drives me nuts. the product of living with my mom for this long i suppose, i mean she pecks at my head like an angry bird if i don't know my plans a week in advance.
either way if all goes well, i'll be seeing becky again this weekend. i really hope it does cuz i miss the little nutcase >_< *pssst becky, if they don't drive you to the mall then make sure to drive them insane >:D*s
current mood: tired
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Sunday, January 18th, 2004
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2:16 pm - ^_^
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(gah catching up todo) well i'm pretty happy, i have a new gf named becky (yay we both have one now dale lol ^_^), i've been going out with her offically i would say since jan 10th, and we're doing very very well. we clicked right away so that's great.
going to school pretty soon as well as of one or two weeks i forget, and i'm not checking i'm too lazy to since it's not important anyway :P. oh and i'm getting my license pretty soon since i'll need it for college and i'm getting free driving classes cuz i'm spessol *hurk hurk drool*.
weeeeee goverment funding! glad they're at least doing something for us ;)
current mood:  loved
current music: marliyn manson - beautiful people
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Monday, December 29th, 2003
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11:03 pm - RAWR!
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well today i did 80 curls with my little 25 lb weights so i guess i'm getting somewhere that and i did 20 benchs with them and 150 crunchs so i'm feeling pretty good right now
current mood: sweaty and psycho
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sylvanmoogle's journal
annoyed
